HDaryl01: sounds like you've got yourself one hum dinger of a straw person. Woohoo! But you know, I've talked with lots of avowed feminists, and I've never met one yet who both supported the draft and thought that it should apply only to men. Either they were opposed to the draft for everyone, or they thought that men and women should have equal obligations to serve.

But, at the end of the day, you actually don't want to be really equal, you want to be equal when you feel like it. And, you're fine being unequal should you not feel like it.

Every male on that soccor field born after December 31, 1959 was COMPELLED to register for the draft between the ages of 18 and 25, or face severe consequences. All females are excluded. The consequences males face should they not register? $250,000 fine and 5 years in jail. Excluded from federal employment. Excluded from federal student loans and grants. Excluded from citizenship. Excluded from federal job training. Excluded from state jobs, loans, and training. Excluded from getting a driver's license in 19 states….

An exclusively MALE requirement since 1980.

Now, women have been ALLOWED into every military branch, and all military academies if they feel like it and want to go, for many years. Yet, women are still not compelled to register for the draft.

Funny, I haven't seen you, or any other Superwomen looking hot while demanding equality and your equal rights and obligations to register for the draft…..Until such a time as you do, you superwomen will enjoy the limited credibility of situation oriented feminists.

Now in this situation, the soccer pick-up league is probably focused on team dynamics and improvement for competition, but it's a similar thing. There are bound to be men who want to play all out but for whatever reason see male and female on the field, not just players (regardless of gender). This can affect their play and their expectations. It can make the men you are close to in skill feel inadequate. I don't bring this up as an excuse for excluding you, but I was rather painfully forced to see it from their perspective, and while I disagree I can begin to understand it.

I would say that you should speak up regardless. If this is the first time a situation like this has come up, it might turn out that they just simply never thought about it. As for the expectation of being perfect? Whose approval are you looking for? I would rather impress a few people by being bold about the situation (and risk offending other people's "sensibilities") than seek approval from people who stick to antiquated social norms.

want to take a step that might lead to something positive? Not satisfactory, just positive? Ask the guys you practice with why they think you aren't good enough to play. Not women, just YOU. Don’t ask them as a group. Pick your spots. But find out how they really feel. Maybe it does just come down to a lot of them don't want to deal with being beaten by a girl. Sounds silly, but I used to teach fighting, and some guys would accept chemical castration before being beaten by a woman in public.

Note, it'll be tough finding a way to be non-confrontational, but realize that those who were elite players on the collegiate or high school level may actually empathize.

In other words, don't try to change things immediately. First try to understand why they are the way they are. if nothing else, it's easier to change things when you understand why they are the way they are. They didn’t used to let women be firefighters. But when rational standards were enacted, some women met them. Not as many as men, but that’s because it’s a job where being bigger and stronger matters, and men are generally bigger and stronger.

On a soccer field, who’s gonna be better/ Mia Hamm, right now, or an overweight 50 year old male accountant who’s never played?

That’s your argument.

On that note, go out and start a new league. Don't limit it to just women though. If you go out and make a female only league you are only playing into their game. "You want to be separate? Well then, I am going to make us even more separate." I have always thought that this is a silly way for women to go about things. Instead, talk with the one sympathetic guy on the team and see if he knows of any others, male or female, who would like to start a co-ed league. You probably won't get some of the more intense players on the male only teams, who are the ones who don't want you there in the first place, so what is the harm there? Then, get the word out. You live in a small town, so there must be local hangouts. Go strike up a conversation in the coffee shop, visit the local dinner for breakfast, put up posters. And yes, pick your lawn chair up and go talk with the other women on the sidelines. If you wait for someone else to get the ball moving, nothing is ever going to happen. (no pun intended. Living in a big city can be easier, but that is only because someone before you had the gumption to start something new. Be that person now. Good luck!

I believe I am part of a generation that unfortunately, given your narrative, could be called 'supermen'–i.e., work a full time job, make dinner, garden, can produce, preserve food, take care of pets, clean and tidy daily, plus all the 'manly' jobs (plumbing, electrical, construction, etc.). It has taught me that gender doesn't enter in to it, skill does.

When I was in high school a decade ago, women were not barred from wrestling if they wanted to–and they were not made fun for going out for wrestling. The only reason I think the women's basketball team didn't want to play with the boys team is the women's team was *muuuch* better. And the school I went to was very, very blue collar and hick.

All I'm trying to say is simply this–restrictions based on gender are eroded. Your experience may vary, but damnit, beat the last of the bulwarks down even if it is hard

But seriously, have a peek at "The Feminist Mistake", you will so LOVE it!